so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
