Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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