I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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