No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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