There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
