Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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