he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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