Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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