if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
