god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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