i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
