Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
