Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
