i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
