she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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