We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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