I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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