at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
