Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
