sarcasm needs its own font
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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