Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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