i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We have so much sex to catch up on
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
