Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
