I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
