Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
