so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
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Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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