So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
