i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
