Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize