Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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