Pappa wants mamma naked
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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