Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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