Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
