i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
