No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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