Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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