You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
