there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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