She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
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I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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