I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
