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no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he thought i was a dude.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
