I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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