Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
