He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
