Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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