How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
