This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
As shirtless as possible
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
