My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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