whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Your dad touched me again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
