she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
