Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
