haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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