No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
