Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
