There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
