the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
