I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
