After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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