I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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